no matter where I roam, I can always find my way back home

This is a photograph I snapped of my grandparents in 2003. They were visiting me at my very first San Francisco apartment … a beautiful Victorian in the Laurel Village sub-neighborhood of Pacific Heights. We went walking together and I just loved they way they automatically linked arms. Linked hands.

This morning, drinking coffee, looking at this photo and listening to Van Morrison. My soul is happy right now.
I feel like going home . . .

Et Voila

Logo’s are like Profile Pictures. They represent you in the biznass community.
I always loved my jesus logo. It was fun. Kitschy. And creative. It sparked conversations. It was completely unique. There was nothing else like it that I’d ever seen.
So in essence, it was me in graphic format.

So you can understand that it’s hard for me to let it go.
(it’s hard for me to let ANYTHING go. I am so glad no one had to witness me saying buh-bye to my old VW Beetle. You’d have thought my Husband of 10 years was going off to war or something)

However with all the new business and clients I have coming down the pike, it was overdue for a visual image change.
Et Voila … my new logo:

…and to quote Natalie Merchant. “I’m bound to thank you for it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For all the gifts that you gave me. Debt to you. I coulda never come this far without you.”
It takes a village to run a business. I am so grateful for everyone in my village.

Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?

I want the party to end all parties, when I die.

I want there to be hundreds of photographers and videographers. Vibrant colors. I want make up artists and dress up booths.
Amazing food. Barrel’s of wine. Creative cocktails.
Three dance floors. DJ’s.
Colors and scarves and water fountains and bubbles.

And after a brief reading of a poem, I’ve written myself, I want everyone to have a fistful of glitter to throw in the air. A 1000 flashbulbs will go off. And several weeks after the party, all the guests will get a glossy 8X10 of the glitter throwing embossed with my name and the day I died.

Because I want everyone to remember thats how life should be led.
Full of power. Full of life. Laugh at yourself. Take a chance. Give in to your urges.
Be over the top. Ridiculous. Do what you want. Love hard.

ticket to ride

I sat in the coffee shop wearing my favorite hot pink wrap shirt. I had my purse. My life. My credit cards. My family. My iphone. All snuggled against me. Safe.

He ran in sweating. Dirty Jeans. Wild hair. Sweet smile. A family man. I know because I called him, once, and his children had left his outgoing voicemail message because his english wasn’t so good. His car he’d used to come meet me was dead a few blocks away and he didn’t want to be late and miss me. Running.

As I filled out the pink slip to my car and he slid the money over to me. He asked me if he could keep $20 in case his car wouldn’t start or needed to make a phone call. His face had that stressful, worried, panic look.
OF COURSE, I sing songed.
And in a split second my brain said “slide the money back. slide the money back.”

And then my brain flashed to my friend Bryan’s face. He was lecturing me about being so nice, so giving. He lectured me about taking care of number one, once in awhile. Making sure “You’re all right, Melissa. When you are ok, then you can make sure everyone else is ok.”

So I kept the (dirty) money.
My fingers curled even tighter around the knowledge that I am a lucky sonofabitch.

Turophile Tuesday: Will Burchett Nods

My dear english friend, Will Burchett, who calls me ‘dahlin’ and likes to wear pipe cleaner crowns while remaining 100% all english MAN, drew this for a project I’m working on. Isn’t it beautiful?

“we’re all just human. cut people some slack.”

My friend Austin, said that to me last night. So simple and so brilliant.
Brilliant.

Brilliant, like my new violet-magenta brown hair.
Brilliant, like staying home on a Saturday Night for the first time in 466 days.
Brilliant, like making Valentines Cards and watching old Marilyn Monroe movies and eating chinese food.
Brilliant, like shape shifting my world to be what I want it to be.

Feuds be gone.
Mind trouble BANISHED.

I know it’s hard out there. I know we’re all just trying to make it. I know that love is always the answer.
So I’m going to start cutting more slack. My ship is entirely too tight. My standards entirely too stringent.

Not thousands of yards of slack.
But a few feet here and there.
Breathable room.

Thank you, Austin.

reality used to be a friend of mine

Clouds and trees get married.
It goes back to ancient times. Trees are the girls. Clouds are the boys.

Trees have roots, that ground them. They’re maternal. They give fruit and express beauty through the seasons. They stay at home, in their little spot in the forest. They cuddle people who just want a reading nook. And trees offer hugs.

Clouds go off into the sky. They’re providers. Bringing water to the trees. Or allowing sunlight or shade, whatever the trees need. They rush through the atmosphere on fun adventures. Always able to come home to be with their tree.

But as time went on. The trees wanted adventures, too. They were tired of just hearing about adventures through the mouths of clouds. They wanted to race around the earth, too. Meanwhile, some clouds just wanted to stay in one single, stationary piece of the sky. These clouds wanted babies and family. They didn’t mind when their trees were bare, naked and giving birth to (maple) syrup.
And some trees don’t want families, just adventures. Just the freedom to rip their roots out of the ground and run, screaming and shrieking into the lilac, russet sunset abyss.
Some clouds are moody and won’t allow sunlight for trees to grow. Drowning trees with rain. And some trees grow so tall they block their clouds. Steal their space. Or the trees might start conversing with new clouds who can handle their height or width.
Things started getting messy.
Pine needles and fog everywhere.

Nowadays, trees and clouds don’t always get married. Not anymore. Oh sure, they’re friends. They’ll never NOT be friends.
Just sometimes, when it’s something special. Really special. Then they’ll tie the knot, with the sun officiating the beautiful ceremony.

Solve it for me.

Problems are abounding. My car is sitting dead at a garage. My student loans have piled up. I am not sure why my dog won’t eat her new organic dog food that I invested mucho dinero in buying by the (nearly) pallet. I haven’t planned anything yet for my mother’s upcoming milestone birthday. I am not satisfied with any of the men or jobs in my life.
The only thing going for me is the rain. I love lying in bed listening to the rain, in the gray violet of the morning. Sitting with steaming Au Lait coffee in my favorite mug, in my favorite chair, watching the water droplets steam and stream the windows.

But where to start with everything else?
Yes, I know. Start small and keep working away. Chipping at the problem.
But I feel paralyzed. (read: bored)

So I sit. And think. And watch rain. And sip Coffee.
It’s been three weeks now. Not much closer to getting everything squared away.

Deep down. It’s simply the true fact that once I settle up these problems. Life will throw me more curve balls. And I am perfectly content with these problems. So I sit. And think. And watch rain. And sip Coffee.

HAIR OF THE DOG

When I let my brain go to town, it GOES to TOWN.
There we were, crossing the Bay Bridge. And I said. Out Loud.

“I want to break up with someone, just so I can be an evil Lloyd Dobler and go to their house, hold up a boombox and blast Nazareth’s “Hair of the Dog” and scream in their face “Now you’re messin with a son of a bitch!”

My bridge crossing companion thought this was the best idea ever and wanted to break up with someone that very night using my idea.
I wonder how it went ….

Love TKO

2006: *Groan* **Groan** I don’t WANNA work all weekend.

2007: Shit, I have to work this weekend.

2008: GARGH! I just want to have fun this weekend, NOT work.

2009: uhm. hello? Is there anyone out there? No work AND no play?

2010: YES! YES! YES! I have work to do all weekend long. Awesome.

MORAL: Be in love with everything that comes your way and appreciate it to the fullest, you never know when it’s going to leave you.